The Projects (Ladies!).

You know what I'm talking about. How many times have you seen (guys) a girl that you're cool with sticking by a complete loser? How many guys (girls) have you stuck by knowing damn well you should not have, even at the time?

Ahh, that perceived need to nurture. Cycle as follows:

1. Girl (good) meets boy. Probably bad boy, plays-by-his-own-rules type. Girl likey.
2. Girl and boy hook up/get together/whatever you want to call it.
3. Girl has fun with boy. Boy completely carefree, basically just trying to get some tail.
4. Girl realizey that boy deal drugs/dropped out of school/spends all of his cash on his car/etc. (NOTE: not judging anyone, but hear me out...)
5. Boy has no intention to change (and that's cool, do you)...BUT...girl see "flaws" in boy that SHE must take responsibility for.
6. Girl encourage boy to finish school/find a real job/start saving money/etc.
7. Boy out of money, starts to stay over at girl's place/eat girl's food/etc.
8. Girl sees more flaws that SHE must take responsibility for.
9. Boy gives lip service to going back to school/finding a job/saving money/etc.
10. Boy has no discipline to do/intention of doing said things.
11. Girl continue to offer apartment/food/attention/sex.
12. Girl continue to see flaws that SHE must take responsibility for.
13. Boy still no go to school/no find real job/no tiene dinero.
14. Girl continue to see flaws that SHE must take responsibility for. Turns up effort.
15. Boy still no go to school/no find real job/no tiene dinero.
16. Girl fucked by this point.
17. Boy still no go to school/no find real job/no tiene dinero.
18. Girl's friends tell girl that she should move on, boy no good for her.
19. Girl stick up for boy, makes excuses for boy and says "intentions" are good.
20. Boy still no go to school/no find real job/no tiene dinero.
21. (Boy very comfortable in this situation)
22. Girl start to think that maybe she should move on.
23. Girl feel sorry for boy by this point though, feels bad about leaving him.
24. Girl continue to see flaws that SHE must take responsibility for.
25. Girl feel trapped.
26. Girl already invested so much effort, completely emotionally invested by this point.
27. Girl grow dependent on guy that was originally dependent on her.
28. Problem: Guy have nothing to offer girl.
29. Girl think he will still change, wants to see return on her investment.
30. Boy still no go to school/no find real job/no tiene dinero.
31. Girl and boy have good sex.
32. Girl and boy talk, boy pay lip service to going back to school/finding job/etc.
33. Boy still no go to school/no find real job/no tiene dinero.
34. (You get the cycle by now...)

See it all the time. And it never seems to work out in the end, but I guess it's just something that a lot of girls must go through and learn for themselves. At the end the day, a relationship will NEVER work if it is fostered (from the beginning) on dependency, unless it's completely mutual. The minute your justification for being with/staying with someone is that you feel sorry for them, you should not be in a relationship with them. It won't last. Both people have to have something besides sex or money to offer the other.

Giving is natural, and I've heard girls tell me that they don't care about getting anything back. They just want to give of themselves. But that isn't reality, because then they'll never get the emotional/spiritual/mental growth that is fostered by the other person in a mature relationship, over the LONG term.

Think about it...